Well, reader, we're back for the second half of Bridgerton season three here at GBH Drama, and let us just say: it’s about to get MESSY. Read on for a brief recap of each episode, including suggestions for other shows you may like to fill the void until next season (which may take about two years to produce), and a spice score to help plan your viewing accordingly. There will, naturally, be spoilers.
Need to catch up first? Check out our discussion of part 1 [here](link), and recaps of the first half of this season [here](link).
### Episode 5: “Tick Tock”
Imagine breaking the news of your personal triumph (an engagement to someone you’ve been in love with forever) while simultaneously scoring a major scoop for your scandal sheet? Penelope Featherington really knows how to make an entrance! Anyway, let’s dive in. Penelope and Colin have just had an eventful carriage ride, after which Colin drags Penelope into his family home to announce their engagement to his assembled siblings and mother. Penelope’s nervous, but she needn’t be: everyone is overjoyed. Well, almost everyone: Eloise is mad as hell, and with good reason. She pulls her former friend aside and insists that Penelope confess her secret identity to Colin. She’s also upset that Penelope kept yet another secret from her, which is understandable, though also kinda funny—Penelope’s feelings were not exactly subtle!
The following day, the Featheringtons learn about Penelope’s engagement through Lady Whistledown, and while her brothers-in-law are delighted, Portia is furious to find out this way.
Meanwhile, guess who’s back in town? Kate and Anthony have returned from their second honeymoon, having succeeded in their heir creation goal. Anthony is overjoyed, and understandably so—after raising seven kids, he finally gets to have one on purpose. He’s also, somehow, already as extra as Violet; I fear for his future children’s experiences on the marriage mart. Unfortunately for Anthony, he can’t shout their news from the rooftops because Colin’s engagement has everyone in a tizzy.
Things keep getting worse for Cressida. Her parents have decided to marry her off to an older man, which she’s trying to process with Eloise. Unfortunately, Eloise just wants to talk about Penelope and Colin, which is infuriating. Cressida’s upset but trying to see the silver lining: she will eventually get to live like Lady Danbury, who is definitely having the most fun of everyone. However, having seen what Lady Danbury’s earlier years were like on Queen Charlotte, it’s hard to root for anyone to walk that exact path. Even Cressida.
Benedict and Anthony, like all good siblings, take Colin out to make fun of him for getting engaged faster than any previous Bridgerton: it’s not a race! They also razz him for taking so long to figure out his feelings. In a stunning display of personal growth, Anthony insists that Colin go tell Penelope that he loves her right away (yeah, I missed it too, but Colin was too busy begging Penelope to marry him to actually say “I love you”).
At the Featherington house, Penelope gets a lecture from her mother instead of congratulations. Portia is trying to protect her daughter in the most misguided way possible. Assuming that Colin doesn’t really love Penelope and that Penelope has “entrapped him,” Portia argues that Penelope shouldn’t lock herself into a marriage if she isn’t sure Colin means it. But guess who overhears this whole thing? Colin, and he’s mad as hell. He storms in, tells Portia that he loves Penelope, and that he’s choosing to marry her. He also calls out Portia for being unfair to Penelope the whole time. It’s, quite frankly, the most I’ve liked Colin this whole time and the hottest he’s ever been.
Next stop? A random house the Bridgerton family owns, which Colin intends to use for the two of them to live in. He apologizes for the state of the place, which is nicer than almost any house I’ve ever been in, and then we get The Mirror Scene (to be clear, I haven’t read these books, but people have been talking about this so much online that it deserves the title case treatment). Colin stands behind Penelope as they gaze into a mirror, and he talks about how attractive she is.
Stay tuned for more recaps and spice scores as we delve deeper into the remainder of Bridgerton season three.
Look, I’m very into this! The scene is smokin' hot and extremely intimate, and I loved seeing Nicola's incredibly attractive and not Hollywood-typical self on screen like this. However, I’m not into secrets, and I feel very strongly that we need to talk about the whole Lady Whistledown thing before this goes any further. Obviously, that does not happen (we have a mood to maintain), but just imagine that anytime these two are alone over the next several episodes, I’m adding annoying commentary about how she should fess up. Anyway, they have sex, it’s great, and I have a sneaking suspicion that a lot of the girlies are gonna go buy themselves a chaise lounge after this.
Anthony and Kate are lounging around at the Bridgerton house being flawless as ever. He’s wearing some kind of exceptional robe thing. Newton’s hanging out on the bougiest dog bed I’ve ever seen (and while I love him, his presence prevents a certain kind of scene between his parents, which I don’t love). Kate’s also wearing a saree-adjacent outfit for the first time in the show, and I can barely see it because Anthony’s giant head is in the way. Rude! They’re still planning to hold off on their baby news because of all the family romance drama, and while I get the instinct, this feels like a mistake. At the rate we’re going, they won’t be able to announce the baby before the baby announces itself!
Case in point: John isn’t wasting any time and makes it clear to Francesca that he’d like to marry her. I respect it, but boy does that stand out next to these goofy Bridgertons or what? And speaking of goofy Bridgertons: Kate corners Eloise for a chat, where she basically tells her to be honest about what’s bothering her. Good advice, on paper, but a little hard when the truth is so messy.
Over at the palace, Queen Charlotte is in a downright jubilant mood. Why? Because she’s got a scheme up her sleeve to unmask Lady Whistledown: for real this time. She’s so excited, in fact, that I was expecting something a little more intense than reality, which is simply a note that goes out to everyone in town offering £5,000 in exchange for info, as if Lady Whistledown were a lost pet. This notice does, however, send shockwaves through our pals. Colin sounds weirdly into the idea of unmasking Lady Whistledown (so much so that I briefly wondered if maybe he’d figured it out and decided he was into that).
But others are more interested in the cash reward. Cressida, for instance. The guy her parents want her to marry is horrible: a boring old stick-in-the-mud who doesn’t approve of society, balls, or music, and wants Cressida to just stay at home and have babies. No wonder she’s hoping to figure out who Whistledown is so she can grab that money and get the heck out of town!
Portia, having gotten some good advice from Varley to be more open with her daughters, genuinely tries to support Penelope. She starts planning a big wedding, tells Phillipa and Prudence that they need to be nicer, and generally tries. It is hilarious, if very different from everything she’s ever done or said thus far.
At Penelope and Colin’s engagement party, shenanigans are afoot. Gregory and Hyacinth drag the wee Lord Kent off to play, leaving his parents to party it up. Violet and Marcus flirt a little bit, watched from across the room by a very peeved Lady Danbury. John’s trying to tell a childhood anecdote and fumbles it badly. However, this makes it clear to me that Francesca really loves him because her entire reaction is to beam at him like he’s perfect. And Eloise corners Penelope to issue an ultimatum: tell Colin your secret identity, or I will. Not gonna lie. I low-key get this.
Colin makes a really cute speech about how excited he is to marry Penelope. And then Eloise, the weirdo, interjects with her own speech about how great love is when you truly know the other person inside and out. Is it awkward? Yes. But also Penelope has said weirder and meaner things in her column, so I guess that’s okay? Anyway, Anthony saves the day by calling everyone into the sitting room to play a game where one person reads out a riddle, and whoever guesses it gets to read the next one. He is hilariously bad at the game, but Eloise and Penelope are basically a dream team. They’re the real soulmates here, let’s be real!
While Eloise’s ultimatum timeline looms ever closer, the topic of conversation turns to the queen’s reward-for-Whistledown-info scheme. Everyone speculates about who she is (well, everyone but Kate and Anthony, who are making out in a corner, having decided to announce their pregnancy) and why she might even come forward and claim the reward for herself. After all, it’s a lot of money (somewhere north of $500,000), and it would protect a girl from an unwanted marriage. Makes you think!
Kate and Anthony share their news. Across the room, Cressida, who’s invited herself to this party to talk to Eloise, stands up and tells everyone she’s Lady Whistledown. Penelope, who’s been slowly working herself up into a full-fledged panic attack this whole time, fully passes out in the middle of the room. Bless ‘em, they’re a complete mess. And that’s where we end episode 5.
### Spicy Rating: 4/5
We get a weirdly chaste sex scene for Tilly and Benedict, but it’s The Mirror Scene that drove this rating. It’s not exceptionally graphic and yet somehow the most intimate love scene they’ve done on this show, IMO.
### Episode 6: “Romancing Mister Bridgerton”
Everyone’s freaking out because there’s no Whistledown pamphlet. Is it because the queen knows who she is? Is it because Penelope still hasn’t recovered from her panic swoon? No, it’s because Penelope is agonizing over what the heck to publish, given what happened. She drafts an extremely mean intro comparing Cressida unfavorably to the literal devil, but then scraps it. Sometimes writing is just like that, and I’ve never even had my column hijacked by a personal bully!
Anyway, writing will have to wait: Colin has appeared to visit Penelope. As they attempt to have a private chat with Portia hovering nearby, Colin senses Penelope’s conflict. Will she finally spill the Whistledown beans? No, even when Colin expresses some doubts that Cressida could be Lady Whistledown because he assumed the writer would be clever. Despite the compliment, Penelope doesn’t say anything, so Colin hands over the real reason for his visit: her new shiny engagement ring. He slips it on her extremely ink-stained fingers and somehow buys that they’re just from writing letters. Colin, I know you’re smarter than this! Penelope is clever, covered in ink, and seems VERY sure that Cressida isn’t Whistledown. Eloise solved this a full season ago!
Speaking of Cressida: she’s just found out that that creepy old man won’t marry her now.
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